Mercenary Rodents


Squirrels in paw-to-paw combat training

As if the story of honey badgers set loose by British operatives rampaging through southern Iraq wasn’t enough, comes now a report that Iranian intelligence has arrested 14 squirrels as foreign spies.

No, really.

Iranian intelligence operatives recently detained over a dozen squirrels found within the nations borders, claiming the rodents were serving as spies for Western powers determined to undermine the Islamic Republic.
“In recent weeks, intelligence operatives have arrested 14 squirrels within Iran’s borders,” state-sponsored news agency IRNA reported. “The squirrels were carrying spy gear of foreign agencies, and were stopped before they could act, thanks to the alertness of our intelligence services.”
Iranian police commander Esmaeil Ahmadi-Moqadam confirmed the report, saying that a number of squirrels had been caught bearing foreign spy gear within Iran’s borders.

The squirrels deny any connection to foreign governments and have protested their arrest as a violation of their civil rights.


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